Dialogues(2)

Here are a few more converstations:


Me talking with the wanna-be world dominator:
Me:Hiya!
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Hiya????!!!Just how illeterate can you get?When I conquer the world I am going to ban all forms of improper language.
Me:O..K
Yuamashita Suzuki: Are you listening to me?Why would anyone speak initials that stand for Oll Korrect(which in itself is a misspelling) if he's not a MORON??
Me:Ermmm... besides the fact that Ok is the most commonly spoken word on the planet, what do you mean by 'when I conquer the world'??Do you know that world domination is next to impossible?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Never mind that.I'm gonna get a bunch of nukes, bomb Amelica and a couple of other countries, take over the rwmains and lead an army across the rest of the civilized globe(The uncivilized ones would come later).
Me:How do you get acess to the nukes?
Yuanmashita Suzuki:I'm gonna steal the rugby ball.
Me:It's called the football.
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Nevar mind that.
Me:At any rate,how do you steal the Football.It is a completely secure object with over 10 NSA agents and several CIA agents watching over it.Oh and it is Bulletproof and permanently attached to an aide.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_Football#Contents.
Yuanmashita Suzuki:Never mind that.
Me:So what exactly would you do to help mankind if you in the impossible event that you actually conquer the world.
Yuanmashita Suzuki:I'm going to make it mandatory for all but the old and the infirm to jog for an hour while holding their mouth wide open.
Me(trying to humour him):Because you approve of exercise and fresh air??
Yuanmashita Suzuki:No,because I hate flies.

Student vs. un-resonable parent(s):
Youfye:Ermmm;here's my report book.
Quote from report:
Math teacher:I've seen worse
English teacher:Not as atrocious as some
Science teacher:She does not think that she's proud, but then again she doesn't think much else either.
Form teacher:I wish she'll find some form!!!!!


After ten minutes;
Youfye's Father:If you don't have better grades by next year,somebody would be whipped.
Youfye's mother:I don't think corporal punishment is the only solution.
Youfye's father(pushing his wheelchair foward):
Nonsense!I got whipped a lot when I was young,and look at the man I am now!
Youfye's mother:But dear ,you can't walk.
Youfye's father:A small price to pay for perfect manners!

Dialogues

As you might have already realized, I(Leo) am a cynic. Of course, if you live in the same environment as I live in, chances are that you're gonna develop a critical opinion of life as well. Here are a few dialogues to help illustrate my point:


Me talking to the village idiot:
Sulen:Dei!!!!!
Me:Erm.......hi
Sulen:You not gonna make me write a sentonce for our project. I AM NOT YOUR BEST OF BORDER
Me(to myself):Isn't it beast of burden??
Me:OK
Sulen:Good and help me do my homework but i was tell teacher about how you insolted my intolligence
Me(to myself):Oh, great.
Later.....
Ryan:What exactly did you want Sulen to do?
Me:Type out her name and telephone so that we could contact her.

Me talking to the Class Sissy:
(Ryan was telling a funny parody about Garfield).
Me:haha
(Quiswart walks up and slaps me in the face)
Me:Aw!What was that for?
Quiswart:You just laughed at my favorite idol.
Me(to myself):Huh??
Me(to Quiswart):That was parody,not satir, you filthy **t**
Quiswart: Leo scolded vulgar. Boo-wah-wawaaaaah!
Me:Stop pretending to cry!!
Quiswart(wiping away imaginary tears):I'm telling Ms.YURTOAPHER!!
Me:Hey!!
Quiswart:Haha!!!!
(Ms.Yurtoapher entered the classroom.)
Quiswart(pretended to cry again): Leo said the B-word to me!
Ms.Yurtoapher:Stand up,Leo! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!
Me:Well...it was like th-
Ms.Yurtoapher:HOW DARE YOU SAY VULGAR IN MY CLASS!
Me:But-
Ms.Yurtoapher:DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A MENACE TO CIVILIZED LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!AND THAT..................................................................................................................................................................................
Me:But...
Ms.Yurtoapher:APLOGIZE!!!!!
Me:But y-
Ms.Yurtoapher:APLOGIZE!!!!!!!
Me(in a voice as scarastic as I could muster):Sorry,Quiswart!
(When Ms.Yurtoapher turned her head back to the blackboard, Quiswart stuck his toungue out and pointed his middle finger at me in the same instant)

Quotes from Famous People and Our Classmates' Reinterepretion

veni,vidi,vici(I came, I saw I conquered)-Julius Caesar
Sulen Tanick-I came,I ate, I swelled

Success is 1% inspiration and 99% pespiration-Albert Einstein
Quiswart-Success is 1% instructing and 99% pestering

Ask not what the nation could do for you, ask what you could do for the nation-John F. Kennedy
Kwong Jenson-Ask not what the nation could do for you,ask what You could steal from the nation.

Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. -anonymous
F***D*-Whom the potato would destroy,he first spits mad.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.-Galileo Galilei
Yuanmashita Suzuki-I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with hands,knives and guns has intended us to forgo their use.

This is one small step for a man,a big leap for mankind-Neil Armstrong
Ms.Yurtoapher-This is one small mathematical problem for a class,a big leap in toture for mankind.

Tyranny of Speech

Today Ms.Yurtoapher scolded our class about setting 'offensive' stuff at our blogs. Apparently the Freedom of Speech rights are just a, well, figure of speech. We apparently have to obey 'Asian values' and that moral=legal. Crazy. Personally, I think we perfectly have a right to state any opinions we want and that any moron who thinks that what we say is unethical/illogical/unfair has no right to tell us what to type. I mean ethnics and logic is most definetely observed from the point of the beholder.They have no right to 'request' us to shut our blog down just because it doesn't obey their rules of logic and unfairness. As for fairness, well fairness is just a figure of speech. Anyway, we have Ryan, our most distinguished would to be lawyer/psychologist/professor/musician. He fought the case for us with Miss Yurtoapher and Professor Olden. He was known for his achievement in defeating the legendary prosecutor Dr F*** D* Whoo(his name is so fearful that he cannot be named) in a MOCK UP court session just by telling the chief justice Dr Terch "Your honour, my client would like to plead guilty." We could imagine how his client looked at that time. His client even protested because he "WON" the case. His client was sentenced to life imprisonment of 100 years and given 40 lashes. He must have enjoyed it very much. Yep, we all know that Sir Ryan is a good Defence Lawyer, not great, but GOOD(I never heard of him myself though). He refered to the 2005 newspaper archives to show both teachers about the asian debate on flaming teachers on blogs. We are students, most likely we would write about our friends, school and teachers. If the teachers only expect good things about them to be written on their students' blogs, why did they bother to search through google to find their students blogs with posts that have their name on it. And most of the posts are real funny its just that teachers have no sense of humour nowadays. To prove it, even our dear lawyer Sir Ryan was forced at knifepoint(the knife was rusty, so it wasn't that scary. Nonetheless there was a chance of tetanus) to delete his humorous post on 3 certain teachers. I bet all the readers enjoyed his work. So much for the Asian values eh? We used it against those who introduced and suggested it. 8-)